BuiltWithNOF
Crass Crosswords 1

This page was last updated on February 5, 2009. Changes to these pages almost always are at the bottom.

For fans of crossword puzzles, here are some answers that have occurred to me and my contributors as we have solved or constructed those puzzles. And you can have more such fun on Crass Crosswords 2 and 3!

Many of these answers are tasteless and offensive, and thus not suitable for Sunday puzzles. Of course, those kinds of answers are my favorites. Other answers could be published in a Sunday puzzle, but I include them because I like them in spite of their cleanliness.

If you want to guess at the answers using supplied hints, then drag the right side of the browser window to the left, so that the Answers column is hidden.

I don’t tell you where word spaces occur in the hints, because actual crossword puzzles don’t tell you, either. Nor do I tell you how many words there are in these answers. These are tough times, you know!

You, too, can make a contribution by e-mailing it to crassman@verycrasswords.com. If you want credit for your gem, your real name or your alias can be disclosed, as you specify. If you don’t want credit, then “Anon” will appear. If neither “Anon” nor a name/alias appears, then I am the culprit.

This list includes so-called dirty words and unpleasant references (but not as many as I want!). So please GO NO FARTHER IF YOU ARE YOUNGER THAN 18.

Theme: Renamed cities
Clue: P and G’s new HQ city?
Hint: T – – – – – F – – – I – –

T A M P A X
F L O R I D A

Theme: [One letter is deleted
from a common phrase]
Clue: Not-so-bad STD?
Hint: G – – – – – – – R P – –

G E N I A L
H E R P E S

Theme: A. A. Milne revisited
Clue: Where A.A. found his secretary?
Hint: S T – – – P – – –

S T E N O
P O O H

Theme: A. A. Milne revisited
Clue: A.A.’s KGB buddy?
Hint: P – – – T I –

P O O H T I N

Theme: A. A. Milne revisited
Clue: Mrs. Milne’s body part?
Hint: P – – – D E – – – M

P O O H D E N D U M

Theme: A. A. Milne revisited
Clue: A. A. ursa aquatica?
Hint: S – – – – – – G P – – –

S W I M M I N G
P O O H

Theme: Renamed cities
Clue: How Jesse Jackson reworks
his “Hymietown” remark?
Hint: – – W Y – – –

J E W
Y O R K

Theme: Bilingual punnies
Clue: House of ill repute?
Hint: M E N – – – A  – W – –

M E N A G E
A    T W A T

Clue: Corpuscle’s lament?
Hint: [16 Letters] V E I N

I V E    L I V E D    M Y
L I F E    I N    V E I N

Clue: A series of boob jobs?
Hint: J – – – – R – – U T

J U G G E R N A U T

Theme: Democrat losers
Clue: A gathering of
morning moisture?
Hint: D – W C – – – – –

D E W
C A U C U S

Clue: Olympian’s claim?
Hint: B O – – T – L – – –

B O R N    T O    L U G E

Clue: OSHA consulting firm headed by Descartes?
Hint: C O G – – – E [9 Letters]

C O G I T O
E R G O N O M I C S

Clue: The ultimate role for an acting tomato?
Hint: P L – – – – G K E – – – – –

P L A Y I N G
K E T C H U P

Clue: Throwing the good plates against the wall?
Hint: D E – – – A B – – –

D E L F T
A B U S E

Clue: Result of an overstocked
Wal-Mart?
Hint: S H – – – A B – – –

S H E L F
A B U S E

Clue: Motel owner’s young son?
Hint: M – – – – – B A – – –

M A S T E R
B A T E S

Clue: Today’s special in the hospital cafeteria?
Hint: S – – Z – – – S – L – –

S E I Z U R E
S A L A D

Clue: A field of masturbating
cattle?
Hint: B – – F S – – – G – – – – F

B E E F
S T R O G A N O F F

Clue: Mexican office mate?
Hint: S – N – – P – – – – – R

S E N O R
P A R T N E R

Clue: Pissed-off Pollyanna?
Hint: S O – – O P – – – – S –

S O R E
O P T I M I S T

Clue: Susan worked with wicker?
Hint: E – – C – C – – – –

E R I C A
C A N E D

Clue: Ho-hum hip-hopper?
Hint:
P L – – – B R – – – R A – – – –

P L A I N    B R O W N
R A P P E R

Clue: Peruvian sit-com?
Hint:
A M – – I N – – – – – D – –

A M O S    I N
T H E    A N D E S

Clue: A poorly formed object?
Hint: M A – – – – O R – – – –

M A D E    T O
O R D U R E

Clue: Wizard gone bad?
Hint: H A – – – P O – – – – –

H A R R Y
P O T H E A D

Clue: CBS versus NBC?
Hint: – U B – – L I – – G A – – – –

T U B A L
L I T I G A T I O N

Theme: Renamed Movies
Clue: S&P 500’s fond remembrance?
Hint:
H O – G R – – – W A – – – – – – – –

H O W    G R E E N
W A S    M Y    R A L L Y

Clue: A strident script?
Hint: – – – – – D P – – –

S C R E E D P L A Y

Clue: Swimming pool in
East L.A.?
Hint: B E – – – – D I –

B E A N E R    D I P

Clue: Traffic jam in Watts?
Hint: B L – – – C – – T

B L O O D    C L O T

Clue: Ship filled with
gang members?
Hint: B L – – – V E – – – –

B L O O D
V E S S E L

Theme: Renamed Movies
Clue: A tougher time for Woody Guthrie?
Hint: B – – – – – – – G A – – – –
F – – – – – – Y

B O U N D    A N D
G A G G E D    F O R
G L O R Y

Theme: Businesses to avoid
Clue: California-wine-country
car dealer to steer clear of?
Hint: C – R – S O – – – –

C A R S
S O N O M A

Theme: [One letter is added
to a common word or phrase]
Clue: Trouble at the
animal shelter?
Hint: C A – – – – M U – – – –

C A N I N E
M U T I N Y

Clue: What was the eager
computer doing?
Hint:
C H – – P – – – – – – – – – Y – –

C H A M P I N G    A T
T H E    B Y T E

Clue: Sybarite’s advice to
young women?
Hint:
C H – – – – M – – – – W A – – –

C H A S T E    M A K E S
W A S T E

Theme: [One letter is changed within a common word or phrase]
Clue: An opulent and memorable
hotel?
Hint: F – – – – G – –

F E L L A G I O

Theme: [One letter is added
to a common word or phrase]
Clue: Parisian language police?
Hint: F R – – – H S – – – K – – – –

F R E N C H
S T I C K L E R S

Clue: Sticky-fingered men of God?
Hint: – – L O – – – – – M – – K –

F E L O N I O U S
M O N K S

Clue: Fancy nursing home?
Hint: – – – Z – – S P – – – C –

G E E Z E R S
P A L A C E

Theme: Bilingual punnies
Clue: Condiment-filled cave-in?
Hint: S I – – H – – – D E – – Y –

S I N K H O L E
D E    M A Y O

Theme: [One letter is added
to a common word or phrase]
Clue: What Barbra Streisand sings to George W. Bush?
Hint: G E – – – – – – – M – M – – –

G E N T I L E    O N
M Y    M I N D

Clue: Song from a porn musical?
Hint: G E – – – – – – – – – O W – – –

G E T T I N G    T O
B L O W    Y O U

Clue: Bird lover’s plea?
Hint: G I – – – – – S E A – – – – – E

G I V E    G E E S E
A    C H A N C E

Theme: [One letter is added
to a common word or phrase]
Clue: Name for a spooky pond?
Hint: – – K E E – – – –

L A K E    E E R I E

Theme: [One letter is changed within a common word or phrase]
Clue: A girl not to date?
Hint: M – – O L – – –

M O N O    L I S A

Theme: [One letter is changed within a common word or phrase]
Clue: An efficient whore?
Hint: S L – – – – C H – – –

S L U T
M A C H I N E

Clue: What you get when you get laid in Denver and St. Paul?
Hint: T A – – – – T W – – – T – – –

T A I L    I N
T W O    C I T I E S

Theme: Renamed movies
Clue: What Jefferson had when
his house was built at last?
Hint:
– – – F U – – M – – – – – – L – –

T H E    F U L L
M O N T I C E L L O

Theme: Businesses to avoid
Clue: Roadside inn to shun, avoid and maybe stay away from?
Hint:
C A S A – – C H – – – – U H – – – –

  C A S A     D E
C H A T E A U    H O U S E

Theme: Bilingual punnies
Clue: A bad day at the office?
Hint: C – – P – – D – – –

C R A P P Y
D I E M

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